The book itself doesn't talk about dating at all, it sees self-image cultivation as a general skill that applies everywhere in your personal and professional life. But it does focus more on problems of achievement than of motivation. ASM works when you have a concrete goal you know you want to succeed at (that's why it uses golf as an example). Struggling to focus could be more of a problem with internal alignment — do you actually *want* to be doing this work?
I guess you could try practicing a self-image of someone who's good at this work, enjoys it, and celebrates progress after every good 30-minute focused session. Even if it doesn't work, perhaps the way it won't work will give you some insight into why focusing and making progress is so difficult.
Good insight, I've recently been realizing at least some of my problems are more in the internal alignment category. Internal misalignment is very asymmetrical for me, the part of me that wants to work on some random fun short-term-beneficial project seems very successful despite the parts of me that want to focus on longer term goals wanting to not do the random project, whereas the parts of me that want to do well at my job (which is pretty key for my long term goals) don't seem to have much sway over the parts of me that don't like it and want to procrastinate.
I'll give that a try, I've tried versions of that but mainly the enjoying it part, but now that you mention it the "being good at it" part would be helpful too. Thanks!
Rationalists are precisely who should be explaining magic! A lot of people are at the step where they need rationality (or at least, some grass-touching) to snap them out of thoughtless inertia and self-sabotaging stories. Hardcore rationalists (e.g., me in 2016) are at the point where all they're missing is the magic manifestation part — that's where they should be focusing.
Unironically seems a lot like "the simple and perfect technique" from the most voted Neville Goddard reddit post. Biggest difference is he tells u to act in real life and change yourself not picture something else.
Did he tell you what he did differently than what he was doing when he wasn't getting dates on hinge? Because the way you wrote this sounds like he basically used law of attraction by going back with his ex and now the energy attracted even more women lol. On this case I would ask what he should do if he didn't have an ex to go back to. But at the same time I liked the idea of integrity and repetition, it's like this whole post could be summarized as: don't fall for the psyops, become the best version of yourself, try and iterate better strategies to get the things you want and keep a positive outlook or use the power of positive thinking 😂.
That's a great summary! I wish just the summary were enough to get people to embrace this; but I'm afraid even a series of blog posts will only help someone who was already open to this ideas. For everyone who's farther away, I guess there's coaching.
As for my Hinge client, I didn't learn exactly what specifically he was doing. My best guess would be "get over an episode of mild depression", which, unfortunately, isn't very useful as a guide to others. Maybe the takeaway is that we all have shifts in mood that can last a few months (I certainly do!) and since a man's mood has such a leveraged impact on his dating success, something you just have to wait till you're on the upswing again.
`...And then I started to have hit after hit on hinge dates, at least for a few weeks. Cool, interesting women seemed all over me, I couldn't get them to not like me.`
But from the start of the story it seemed like he had problem getting matches themselves?
Any thoughts on using this in non-dating contexts? Like if you're struggling to focus at work, or not making much progress on a project?
The book itself doesn't talk about dating at all, it sees self-image cultivation as a general skill that applies everywhere in your personal and professional life. But it does focus more on problems of achievement than of motivation. ASM works when you have a concrete goal you know you want to succeed at (that's why it uses golf as an example). Struggling to focus could be more of a problem with internal alignment — do you actually *want* to be doing this work?
I guess you could try practicing a self-image of someone who's good at this work, enjoys it, and celebrates progress after every good 30-minute focused session. Even if it doesn't work, perhaps the way it won't work will give you some insight into why focusing and making progress is so difficult.
Good insight, I've recently been realizing at least some of my problems are more in the internal alignment category. Internal misalignment is very asymmetrical for me, the part of me that wants to work on some random fun short-term-beneficial project seems very successful despite the parts of me that want to focus on longer term goals wanting to not do the random project, whereas the parts of me that want to do well at my job (which is pretty key for my long term goals) don't seem to have much sway over the parts of me that don't like it and want to procrastinate.
I'll give that a try, I've tried versions of that but mainly the enjoying it part, but now that you mention it the "being good at it" part would be helpful too. Thanks!
This isn’t the main topic of this blog, but I’d also be interested in hearing Jacob’s thoughts on this.
Never thought I would see a rationalist blogpost explain the fundamentals of affirmations and manifesting so earnestly
Rationalists are precisely who should be explaining magic! A lot of people are at the step where they need rationality (or at least, some grass-touching) to snap them out of thoughtless inertia and self-sabotaging stories. Hardcore rationalists (e.g., me in 2016) are at the point where all they're missing is the magic manifestation part — that's where they should be focusing.
Unironically seems a lot like "the simple and perfect technique" from the most voted Neville Goddard reddit post. Biggest difference is he tells u to act in real life and change yourself not picture something else.
Did he tell you what he did differently than what he was doing when he wasn't getting dates on hinge? Because the way you wrote this sounds like he basically used law of attraction by going back with his ex and now the energy attracted even more women lol. On this case I would ask what he should do if he didn't have an ex to go back to. But at the same time I liked the idea of integrity and repetition, it's like this whole post could be summarized as: don't fall for the psyops, become the best version of yourself, try and iterate better strategies to get the things you want and keep a positive outlook or use the power of positive thinking 😂.
That's a great summary! I wish just the summary were enough to get people to embrace this; but I'm afraid even a series of blog posts will only help someone who was already open to this ideas. For everyone who's farther away, I guess there's coaching.
As for my Hinge client, I didn't learn exactly what specifically he was doing. My best guess would be "get over an episode of mild depression", which, unfortunately, isn't very useful as a guide to others. Maybe the takeaway is that we all have shifts in mood that can last a few months (I certainly do!) and since a man's mood has such a leveraged impact on his dating success, something you just have to wait till you're on the upswing again.
Yeah! Like the friend who kept saying that she couldn't throw a frisbee, then seeing herself doing the thing that she thought was impossible :)
`...And then I started to have hit after hit on hinge dates, at least for a few weeks. Cool, interesting women seemed all over me, I couldn't get them to not like me.`
But from the start of the story it seemed like he had problem getting matches themselves?