I've had two stints on the apps, 2011-2014 and 2024-2025 and they worked as well recently as they did back in the day. Notwithstanding all the problems, which are real, I don't think dating apps will lose their relevance; there's nothing else nearly as effective for what they do, which is aggregate the largest number of ~available people. Quantity has a quality all its own.
I paid 25k to make my own dating app that would solve most of the problems on apps today. Unfortunately the developers scammed me and never sent over the code. But the concept was this, one match at a time, 48 hours to plan a date, and all premium features from other apps but for free. It would’ve been called Pebble which is what penguins give eachother before they get married and the logo was two blue penguins making heart with their heads.
It's always a little sad to me that eHarmony always gets left out of these discussions & analyses since afaik they were the only dating site whose explicit advertised goal was to get you married. I dunno if they have an app but their website still exists.
I told this story on one of Zvi's old dating roundup posts but their algorithm (at least used to) reject people it considered unmatchable, which is what got me interested in checking it out after I heard a friend lamenting his rejection. Popped a 6 month sub and met my future wife the week before it ended. Easily the best money I've ever spent on anything full-stop no contest but they (at least used to) do occasional free weeks, which is how she got the better deal by not having paid for it at all.
This is hands down the best analysis of the dating app death spiral I've read. The network effects running in reverse is the key insight that everyone misses. Social media gets stronger as more people join, but dating apps get weaker becuase success means leaving. Match Group's entire portfolio is built on a business model that actively selects for the worst possible userbase over time. The OkCupid trajectory you describe is devastating, I was there in 2014 too and watching them replace their data science blog with astrology was like watching someone lobotomize themselves for engagement metrics. The point about disempowerment really resonates, on the apps you can't signal anything meaningful beyond what fits in 500 characters and six photos. Meanwhile in real life you can demonstate competence, develop rapport, build social proof. The apps strip away every selection mechanism that actually works for finding compatible partners and replace it with an algorithm optimized for keeping people scrolling forver. Match Group shareholders should be terrified of this analysis becoming common knowledge.
I think Hinge does work a bit better than Tinder because it adds some frictions. You only get like ten likes a day, and you can't have left too many people on read and still like new matches.
Tinder worked reasonably well for me as late as 2022. But it was a non-US dating market (Indonesia and Russia), so maybe it hasn't gone so far down the toilet yet in these places.
Pretty much did what I wanted from it, which was to find a girlfriend. Took about 5 months, overall result was about 20 dates, 5 that led to sex, two looked like good prospects for longer-term, one of which I ended up staying with and exiting the app. I deem that a good result for the goal of "finding a relationship".
I've had two stints on the apps, 2011-2014 and 2024-2025 and they worked as well recently as they did back in the day. Notwithstanding all the problems, which are real, I don't think dating apps will lose their relevance; there's nothing else nearly as effective for what they do, which is aggregate the largest number of ~available people. Quantity has a quality all its own.
I paid 25k to make my own dating app that would solve most of the problems on apps today. Unfortunately the developers scammed me and never sent over the code. But the concept was this, one match at a time, 48 hours to plan a date, and all premium features from other apps but for free. It would’ve been called Pebble which is what penguins give eachother before they get married and the logo was two blue penguins making heart with their heads.
It's always a little sad to me that eHarmony always gets left out of these discussions & analyses since afaik they were the only dating site whose explicit advertised goal was to get you married. I dunno if they have an app but their website still exists.
I told this story on one of Zvi's old dating roundup posts but their algorithm (at least used to) reject people it considered unmatchable, which is what got me interested in checking it out after I heard a friend lamenting his rejection. Popped a 6 month sub and met my future wife the week before it ended. Easily the best money I've ever spent on anything full-stop no contest but they (at least used to) do occasional free weeks, which is how she got the better deal by not having paid for it at all.
This is hands down the best analysis of the dating app death spiral I've read. The network effects running in reverse is the key insight that everyone misses. Social media gets stronger as more people join, but dating apps get weaker becuase success means leaving. Match Group's entire portfolio is built on a business model that actively selects for the worst possible userbase over time. The OkCupid trajectory you describe is devastating, I was there in 2014 too and watching them replace their data science blog with astrology was like watching someone lobotomize themselves for engagement metrics. The point about disempowerment really resonates, on the apps you can't signal anything meaningful beyond what fits in 500 characters and six photos. Meanwhile in real life you can demonstate competence, develop rapport, build social proof. The apps strip away every selection mechanism that actually works for finding compatible partners and replace it with an algorithm optimized for keeping people scrolling forver. Match Group shareholders should be terrified of this analysis becoming common knowledge.
I think Hinge does work a bit better than Tinder because it adds some frictions. You only get like ten likes a day, and you can't have left too many people on read and still like new matches.
Tinder worked reasonably well for me as late as 2022. But it was a non-US dating market (Indonesia and Russia), so maybe it hasn't gone so far down the toilet yet in these places.
what do you mean when you say work reasonably well like you consistently got babes or it just wasn’t full of bots?
Pretty much did what I wanted from it, which was to find a girlfriend. Took about 5 months, overall result was about 20 dates, 5 that led to sex, two looked like good prospects for longer-term, one of which I ended up staying with and exiting the app. I deem that a good result for the goal of "finding a relationship".
Thank you passport, brother